So I gave up.

Turns out, somewhere late Saturday I decided to give up. I spent the rest of the weekend plundering caves and pondering on why, exactly, I did not want to finish the detox. I came to a possible chain of reasoning through MBTI personalities. I guess I just wanted to lay out my thoughts for the world, since I don’t have many people to discuss this meaningless crap with in the real world.

I’m an INTP. INTP personalities are notorious for not really finishing stuff. I think this is my main problem. It’s not like I detoxed very much at all, and I pretty much went back to how I regularly eat (much to the chagrin of the gym’s scale). But I got the picture. I sort-of understood how this whole thing was going to be (although I never experienced this jump in energy, which I’m still curious about, and therefore I might attempt again in a few days just for fun) and so I was done with it. Right then, I wanted something sweet. And I did. Done.

I have to say, that my first bag of muddy buddies made my stomach terribly upset. I couldn’t understand how this could be since last time they settled fine, but this does mean that my body chemistry was changing. Too bad I ruined that.

Anyways, I’m also very ADHD, it turns out. Well, attention-side ADHD. So really I couldn’t maintain my interest in it anymore. That’s no excuse. And that doesn’t mean that detoxing isn’t beneficial. It’s that with my specific head, it’s very difficult to complete this. That doesn’t mean I won’t try again though, and that doesn’t mean I didn’t give myself plenty of crap for not completing even half of the prescribed program.

My personality type also gives me major issues in completing other things, actually. I really, really need to do my chem report. But I just can’t seem to do it. I’ll probably finish around 1 am tonight, I guess. After I get this chain of thought out of my system.

Actually, I’m going to sleep. I’m tired. I’ll do it tomorrow morning.

Screw life.

I’m going to hate myself if I have to retake this class next semester.

Day 3, AM

It’s only about 10:30 and I’ve been awake but an hour, but I feel the need to write something on how strange I feel. I’m telling you, overhauling a diet can do stuff to yah. Around nine today I woke up with a lot of energy, but that left me quickly. I did a week’s worth of dishes (I’m not kidding yah. I need to do the dishes way more often than I actually do) and after that, I got light-headed and had to sit down and grab something to eat. I just got up to get a fork and my head was already spinning. Thankfully, I’m allowed to have a small amount of rice today, so I’m having that for breakfast as I write, as well as a cutie.

Microwaveable rice is not as bad as I thought by the way. I lack a rice cooker or stove, so I ended up buying the 2 dollar box of store-brand rice with a big “microwaveable” sign in the lower right corner. Needless to say, if I wanted to be real good about it I should have bought brown rice, but close enough, right? I do think I made too much as well. I used my tea cup as a measuring cup for that magic 1:1 ratio of water and rice (with optional butter. who puts butter in rice?) the box describes and to my own surprise, my appetite is so small I’m having trouble finishing half of it. I’ll store the other half in the fridge for tomorrow’s breakfast.

bunny rabbit.

Because after today, this is the best representation of myself. Nom nom nom. I scarfed down an entire bag of plain lettuce for dinner, along with a microwaved sweet potato, which finally gave me some of my energy back. Yaaay potatoes.

Day 2

I’m tired, have a headache, was light-headed after my workout, and even though I’ve eaten quite a bit in veggies, it feels like I’ve eaten nothing at all. Is this really supposed to be this way? Maybe this is part of the detox part. I mean, no sugar or caffeine or carbs in two days. It’s rough. I didn’t think that the second freakin’ day would be so rough. All I want is a caramel macchiato. And a burger. With fries.

My workout wasn’t very proper today. I must have looked like a turtle on the elliptical. I still managed to burn around 300 calories on that thing, and lifted some weights beforehand to maintain muscle. In the locker room, I weighed myself and came in at 169.4. Which is fantastic, I have to say. But it’s hard to be super excited about 3 pounds of weightloss in two days when I have the energy of a sloth.

Well, let’s hope tomorrow I have more energy. I still have a salad in the fridge that I must eat, sans dressing, and lots of yummy carrots and bellpepper. Sarcasm intended. I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow’s hot soup and potatoes. Oh dear.

Day 1

I’m not sure about how I feel about this day. Sure, I am lighter. I had not the chance to purchase fruit before class, and lunch time was filled with essay writing, so I only got the chance to go to the store by 4, and did not eat until nearly 4:45. Because I am walking much these days, this was very exhausting. But that has nothing to do with the actual diet. So let’s move on to that. 

I ate grapes, a large apple, and a couple of mandarin oranges. I’m just not a very big fruit eater, so even though I’m rather hungry still, that was all I ate. It must only come to a good 500 calories or so. I also drank three cups of tea, as advised by a few different plans.

At the gym today, I lifted weights, did some equipment exercises for legs, that roman chair, and 25 minutes of rowing, which is supposed to burn quite a few calories. Total, I suppose I spent about an hour there, and burned perhaps 350 or 400 calories. Tomorrow, I will do more elliptical work to push that number up to 500. Plus, I’ve been doing rowing more often lately and I am afraid I will develop man shoulders from it. A silly fear, I know, but it’s there. 

As for that first comment about being lighter, by some strange phenomenon not explained by mathematics, I went down from 173.1 to 171.6 over one day. I am not sure if I will get such dramatic results every day over the next week, and actually am quite certain I will not, but it’s quite nice. It’s a good incentive to keep going, and I have high hopes for the next few days. I’m wondering if by my birthday (the 24th) I could be 165. 

But talking like this makes me feel like I’m back to my sophomore year of high school, back when I seriously read pro-ana blogs in hopes of affecting my weight. Not much good ever came to that, and the best that I ever did was when I ignored such thoughts and focused on, well, not much of anything. I don’t understand my own body. I have gone down from 205 since then, but there is not one specific thing I can point to to explain it.

Anyways, I’ll check in again tomorrow. I hope that I can sustain this effort and remain healthy, and eventually start feeling this “rejuvenated” feeling that others keep reporting. I think that happens around day 5. Clean eating is pain.

Oh legs, you’re so strong. Why can’t you be beautiful too?

With a few year’s worth of exercise, my legs have become very strong. Although I exercise in an erratic way, sometimes skipping three days or even a week and sometimes going on a week-long exercise binge, over my last two years of high school and into my first year of college this has balanced out to give me rather powerful legs. I might not be running marathons but I can walk for hours without getting tired. I can out-squat most people in my gym (which is full of beautiful, slim girls and toned, muscular men) and I have much overall power and endurance. Much of this is due to countless reps of squat-jumps and my affinity for longer, medium-paced cardio sessions. 

But. For all the awesome muscle I am building under the surface, I see not a shred of it past my damned fat stores. It’s not like I have much fat on my back, chest, or arms. It’s all on the thighs, buttocks, and calves. Forgive me for whining, but these are the muscle groups I work most. I do abs and arms 3 times a week max, but every day is leg day. And I for once I would like lean, toned legs instead of ham-hocks. 

This sounds more like a diary entry than anything else, huh?

Well, in light of my empty fridge and thick thighs, I have decided to go with a detox-esque diet plan. I read up on a few diet plans and boiled it down to a few simple concepts. Fruit the first day, veggies the second, a combination the third, and then a build-up of energy-storing foods such as rice, potatoes, and lots of soup. One blog adds in nut butters and canned fish for protein, so if I feel like it on day 4 and up, I’ll add that in.

Not only does this plan sound rather cheap (I am, after all, a college student and frugal to a fault at this point) but it’s simple, once you get all that voodoo blogs seem to put in out of the way. I have one whole salad kit in my fridge right now. And some creamer and an old bag of carrots that really needs to be gotten rid of. Good base, eh? I’ll toss the creamer out (too much of a temptation to make coffee, and it’s pretty much empty) and stock up on the fruits ‘n veggies first thing tomorrow morning before school.

I’m just jumping straight into this one. I expect to be 5 or so pounds lighter by the end of the week. Hopefully, some of that will come off my thighs. There should be an increase in energy somewhere along the way, so we’ll find out about that. In order to put some purpose and consistency to this whole thing, I’m going to give this rather empty blog the low-down on what I’m eating, how much, and how I feel.

yarisugidesuka?

I might be overdoing it. Or underdoing it. I’m not sure. 

Specifically, I’m talking about exercise, but really it’s like, my entire life. Sometimes I’m glad I’m sorta isolated from the world because if I was rather popular, I’d get even less done. 

So for the last… three days? I didn’t exercise at all. Today, I exercised a total of about 2 hours. And when I do exercise, it’s not like it’s light stuff. I spent an 45 minutes on the elliptical (465 cal) doing medium-to-intense work, them another 10 minutes of rowing, 10 of weight lifting, and approx. an hour or so of leg work (j.jacks, squats, jumping jacks, those plank-side-jump thingies, walking lunges, stair climbing…). And this is normal for me. The whole two-extremes thing.

The only thing I can count on is that I eat like a man, without a man’s metabolism. By which I mean, I just eat rather large portions for dinner, and the rest of the day I’m constantly grazing. I’m thinking I should invest in gum.

I think that to get great results I should really be meal-planning. But that takes so much damn time. And I already don’t have time enough in my head for all my other stuff, let alone space. But seriously, meal planning should be a really good idea… Anyone care to do it for me?

Hello again.

So I deleted all the content off this blog a while back, wanting to start afresh. That was two weeks ago, maybe more, and I never really wrote anything. So… let’s delve into my mind.

I’m starting so much stuff right now. I don’t know where to begin and I really need to create some form of organization, and form some plans and see if I can really even do it all. I mean, there’s so much of it.

Shall I be more specific? Well, first and foremost there’s college. I try to be a good student. I try to be involved. I haven’t decided what direction I’m going in with this whole education thing, but my major, which I am still very much enjoying, is Chemistry. It’ll either be veterinary or medical, and either way I have to declare something eventually and join the associated club.

Next is money. Where the hell do I get this stuff from? If there’s anything I’ve learned in my short life, it’s that I suck at making it. I mean, I really suck at it. I’m not good at applying to grants or scholarships (not to mention the fact that I’m just foreign enough to be excluded from many of them) and I can’t seem to land a job because my resume sort-of resembles the Sahara Desert. So I decided maybe it’s a good idea to start out self-employed. This presents the problem of adequate planning and an idea and all of that fantastic stuff, and so though I’m excited by the concept, where I go from here is… well I’m still figuring that out. And figuring stuff out takes lots of time. 

Next is dogs. Because I adore these things. Rom and Spark (short for Romeo and Sparky) are my life. And they are 1,785 miles away. I had to Google that and wow, that’s farther than I expected. My heart cringes. So I was thinking that a good alternative to having my babies around would be to participate in the foster program at my school. It allows me to have a dog on campus while participating in a good cause. I’m really wanting this. I just hope an adorable puppy won’t be too much of a burden. I’d hate it if I couldn’t give it all the attention it deserves, or if my school work suffered for it. But it could also be a huge positive in my life. I’m so torn.

Then there’s the smaller worries of housing for next year which is turning out more expensive than I would like (and paying for that) and my non-existent social life and the fact that on the weekends I just don’t want to do anything. 

Oh, and did I mention that I need to lose major stones for my upcoming cosplay? Cellulite and side-split skirts do not go together.

LIFE.